Fluffff

So kind of the stinky man to share his treats with me.

Marshmellow fluff: I'd eat it.

So glad Mom is back

Single serving lemonde packets: I'd eat it.

In which I am mistreated

I have had very little naughtiness in the past few weeks. Mom abandoned me and left we the stinky man. He obviously has no idea what the protocol for feeding me is; there were no treats on the counter for two weeks! I was wasting away. When Mom finally returned, she even said I looked "skinnier". Skinnier? OUTRAGEOUS! I looked sickly, gaunt, and very scrawny. I can't believe she didn't punish him for neglecting my needs so. But, all was not lost....

Due to their extreme laziness, Mom and the stinky man brought home Chinese food. With the return of Mom came the return of Mom's caring nature. She left the fortune cookies on the counter just like she knows she is supposed to.

Notice that I took care to unwrap the treat. Further notice that I ate the fortune.

Haha

Stupid cat.

Gummi Worms

Num. I has a worm. Several in fact. In belly.

Trash and Tragedy

It was supposed to be epic. They emptied the garbage and left the full bag on the floor in the kitchen: JACK...wait for it.....POT.

I started off with a little bit of shredded cheese bag.

Then I made a serious error. In my hurry to enjoy the rest of the bag's contents, I edged it over the threshold to the basement stairs. Look at the bag mocking my pain.

I wish I had the courage to go to the basement, but I'm too afwaid of that place.

Spaghetti Batman

My people got a stupid new kitty. His name is Spaghetti Batman. He is stupid. I was napping peacfully when his smallness hopped up and ruined my couch. Stupid Spaghetti Batman.

At least he is ruining Tiny Whiney's couch, too.

Creation Museum

So, apparently there are people who think this Noah's Ark thing actually happened. First of all, I'm a dog and even I realize that is redonkulous. Secondly, if it were real, this photo that my people took at the creation museum in Kentucky shows you exactly why I want my next vacation to be on a big boat full of animals.

Oil Fail

My people made popcorn. I think it was supposed to be for me, but they didn't give me any. It's ok though, I got some popcorn for myself. Mine wasn't cooked though, so I had to eat it raw with the oil on the side. And by on the side, I mean on the rug.

More like Tasty Horton's

The lady person brought donuts for her peers in vet school. I decided that I would get to keep the leftovers for myself. I am peerless in my love of donuts.

The Bisquick Lick

Very tasty is the Bisquick.

Also, look at how pretty and shiny my coat is. I think my regular diet of garbage helps.

Happy Birthday to Me

I snapped this picture just a day or after I came home from the shelter.

I was adopted two years ago today. I am pretty sure that I was born exactly two years before that, so that makes me four years old. I've given it some thought, and I have decided to trade in my youth for wisdom. Expect profoundly thoughtful and sensible behavior from me in the future.