Things I Ate

Merry Christmunch

2009-12-26T16:02:00.001-05:00

As you can see, I'm viting the goofy curly monsters for the holidays.

[see above for curly dog]

I supervised very closely as the people made gingerbread houses.

And believe you me, I will eat it. I need to get some strategy together first for this gingerbread-heist. Does anyone have a copy of Ocean's 11 I can borrow? I know, I'll just call these guys.

Better luck next time :(

2009-12-24T11:38:00.000-05:00

I got to this goodness just a *hair* too late. I really wanted to repeat my past Pop Tart glory. I'll get 'em next time. You'll see.

Trash

2009-12-22T15:57:00.000-05:00

That is what you get for being too lazy to take the bag to the dumpster.

Trash bag on porch: I eated it.

Family

2009-12-18T11:33:00.001-05:00

I obscured my mom's identity because I haven't actually told my people about my online life. But, as you can see, she is pretty happy right now.

Garlandelicious

2009-12-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

Cat in pine-y garland: I'd eat it.

Cat near pine-y garland: I'd eat it.

Though, to be fair, I'm so hungry I'd probably eat the blanket they're sitting on...

Low calorie haiku

2009-12-12T11:16:00.000-05:00

Gatorade too sweet

Eat Propel Fitness Water

I'm such a bad dog

Breakfast Choice

2009-12-12T11:14:00.000-05:00

Guess which two I did not get to eat.

If only I could get my paws on some gravyaccino.

More burn victim

2009-11-15T13:36:00.001-05:00

The kitty is still here. He's been distracting that doofus, Spaghetti Batman, which a huge bonus for me and the rest of my posse.

But I can't always have peace and quiet. He's not so bad.

I'd eat him.

Glad to eat it for you

2009-11-09T13:28:00.000-05:00

Re: the baking soda

Revenge is dish best served in little plastic cups, jerks.

Arm and Hammer and a bitter flavor

2009-11-06T13:27:00.001-05:00

It should be of no surprise to you that my people occasionally set traps for me. Classic anti-dog behavior on their part. Stupid baking soda.

Jimmy Johns is my middle name

2009-11-04T13:25:00.000-05:00

I so ate it.

Compassion, I guess

2009-10-31T13:39:00.000-04:00

My people have added another critter to their charge.

This little guy was burned in a house fire and lost the rest of his family. I guess since I came from a shelter, it's ok if they look after this guy until he's big enough to be adopted. That doesn't mean have to like him though. Look at his burned little face. His whiskers were fried off!

Fluffff

2009-09-26T19:00:00.000-04:00

So kind of the stinky man to share his treats with me.

Marshmellow fluff: I'd eat it.

So glad Mom is back

2009-09-21T18:00:00.000-04:00

Single serving lemonde packets: I'd eat it.

In which I am mistreated

2009-09-20T11:38:00.000-04:00

I have had very little naughtiness in the past few weeks. Mom abandoned me and left we the stinky man. He obviously has no idea what the protocol for feeding me is; there were no treats on the counter for two weeks! I was wasting away. When Mom finally returned, she even said I looked "skinnier". Skinnier? OUTRAGEOUS! I looked sickly, gaunt, and very scrawny. I can't believe she didn't punish him for neglecting my needs so. But, all was not lost....

Due to their extreme laziness, Mom and the stinky man brought home Chinese food. With the return of Mom came the return of Mom's caring nature. She left the fortune cookies on the counter just like she knows she is supposed to.

Notice that I took care to unwrap the treat. Further notice that I ate the fortune.

Haha

2009-08-25T22:53:00.000-04:00

Stupid cat.

Gummi Worms

2009-08-24T21:46:00.000-04:00

Num. I has a worm. Several in fact. In belly.

Trash and Tragedy

2009-08-21T16:34:00.000-04:00

It was supposed to be epic. They emptied the garbage and left the full bag on the floor in the kitchen: JACK...wait for it.....POT.

I started off with a little bit of shredded cheese bag.

Then I made a serious error. In my hurry to enjoy the rest of the bag's contents, I edged it over the threshold to the basement stairs. Look at the bag mocking my pain.

I wish I had the courage to go to the basement, but I'm too afwaid of that place.

Spaghetti Batman

2009-08-17T22:52:00.000-04:00

My people got a stupid new kitty. His name is Spaghetti Batman. He is stupid. I was napping peacfully when his smallness hopped up and ruined my couch. Stupid Spaghetti Batman.

At least he is ruining Tiny Whiney's couch, too.

Creation Museum

2009-08-15T23:01:00.001-04:00

So, apparently there are people who think this Noah's Ark thing actually happened. First of all, I'm a dog and even I realize that is redonkulous. Secondly, if it were real, this photo that my people took at the creation museum in Kentucky shows you exactly why I want my next vacation to be on a big boat full of animals.

Oil Fail

2009-08-15T22:47:00.000-04:00

My people made popcorn. I think it was supposed to be for me, but they didn't give me any. It's ok though, I got some popcorn for myself. Mine wasn't cooked though, so I had to eat it raw with the oil on the side. And by on the side, I mean on the rug.

More like Tasty Horton's

2009-06-30T00:24:00.000-04:00

The lady person brought donuts for her peers in vet school. I decided that I would get to keep the leftovers for myself. I am peerless in my love of donuts.

The Bisquick Lick

2009-06-27T00:19:00.000-04:00

Very tasty is the Bisquick.

Also, look at how pretty and shiny my coat is. I think my regular diet of garbage helps.

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-06-26T16:54:00.000-04:00

I snapped this picture just a day or after I came home from the shelter.

I was adopted two years ago today. I am pretty sure that I was born exactly two years before that, so that makes me four years old. I've given it some thought, and I have decided to trade in my youth for wisdom. Expect profoundly thoughtful and sensible behavior from me in the future.

Allergies

2009-06-23T00:16:00.000-04:00

Look at poor Tiny Whiney's foot. I think he met a bee. Ha ha.

Tompkins-Adams

2009-06-20T09:29:00.000-04:00

This is my buddy Tompkins-Adams. He is a much better doggy than I. My people rounded him up from the mean streets, then after a few days of trying to find his family, brought him to the shelter. Last I heard, the shelter said he was a very good boy and would be on the adoption floor until someone brought him home. I hope he's in a happy home now.

Baking Drawer

2009-06-20T00:12:00.001-04:00

They left open the drawer the keep all their baking stuff (see the top of the first picture). Cookie mix, abundand coconuts, and all manner of delicious candy were mine for the taking. Score!

Carrots Part III: The Never Again Addition

2009-04-30T09:21:00.000-04:00

Eewwwwwww.

Carrots Part II

2009-04-29T15:00:00.001-04:00

Whoa... I can't control myself at all. That was like 2 lbs of carrots. I don't feels so hot.

Carrots!

2009-04-29T09:16:00.001-04:00

I just LOVE carrots. They taste terrible but the crunch is so satisfying.

Pink Party Plate

2009-04-07T17:25:00.000-04:00

These where perfectly pretty pink plates until I pulled them down. Plummeted from their perch. They plopped down and persevered, but I am pugnacious; I pulverized pink plates.

Soy!

2009-04-04T17:18:00.001-04:00

Soy sauce is not very tastey, but I'm still going to count this as a victory.

Zelda Keeps a Careful Watch

2009-04-04T17:14:00.001-04:00

Zelda and I often discuss whether she or I is the better watchdog. I contended that since she is so dopey, no one would be scared of her even if the did discover an intruder. Also, I snuck into her house and took this first picture without her knowledge. True, she was watching out the window when I spotted her, but either she is not a good watchdog or I'm a ninja (there is some evidence for this).

She finally discovered my intrusion when the flash went off. What a dope.

Bacon Waffle

2009-03-29T15:52:00.000-04:00

Holy crap. I am so mad at my people. Not only did they go on vacation without me, but Mr. Caregiver had a bacon filled waffle. Waffle with bacon built right in. Bacon on top of waffle.

I'd eat it. I might also eat the ghouls that decided not to take me with them to the land of meatpastry.

Kitties

2009-03-08T15:32:00.000-04:00

I know I'd eat them, but it is difficult to catch them when they're vulnerable; they always use the buddy system.

Why did I do this?

2009-03-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

It doesn't even taste like anything. I can't explain some of my actions.

Blueberry is good muffin

2009-03-06T15:28:00.001-05:00

My people made some extraordinary blueberry muffins. The smelled so moist and wonderful. Then the foolish humans all went upstairs so I could have my way with the treats. For some reason, just as I was getting started, one of them yelled, "THE MUFFINS! NNOOOOOOO!!!!" The pitiful human then spent about 20 minutes trying to salvage some that I hadn't eaten.

Mud and Devotion

2009-02-16T22:59:00.000-05:00

Look at what my mom goes through to keep me satisfied. Neither rain nor snow nor redonkulous muddiness keeps her from taking care of me.

Also, please note the garbage bag that I sliced open.

Guest Blogger: Zelda and a Shoe

2009-02-15T22:55:00.000-05:00

The silly brown dog has something to say. Let's tune in, shall we?

_____________________________________

I ATE MY MOM'S SHOE!!!

_____________________________________

Nice work, Zelda.

Baby Goats

2009-02-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

I didn't get to visit the goats with my people. However, I can tell you unequivocally: I'd eat it.

I'm a snow angel

2009-02-12T09:25:00.001-05:00

My arms and legs don't bend like other kids', so I can't make typical snow angels. I just spin around in the snow. I am adorable.

WTF

2009-02-11T08:13:00.000-05:00

This makes me question some of my most basic assumptions about life. Or I am high.

On an unrelated note, I really have the munchies. I'd it eat for sure.

Cereal

2009-02-10T21:40:00.000-05:00

Cereal is super tasty. Raisin Bran is good, but I can really get on board with the crunch. Super tasty and crunchy. I wish there had been real cereal in it.

What good is an empty cereal box without an empty milk carton.

Zelda's Panty Raid

2009-02-10T17:47:00.002-05:00

Zelda is the most juvenile person I know.

She asked me if she could do a guest spot on my blog. Having learned never to trust her or, I asked what she had in mind.

"Two words: Panty Raid," she replied.

Can you believe her? I struggle day in and day out to take food off the table and she is wasting her time with childish pranks.

Despite my protests, she went through with her plan. Sent me a picture of her "trophy" to prove it.

Saute-Tasty

2009-02-08T21:35:00.000-05:00

Nums. Stuff was on stove; this was unacceptable.

OHOP: Ohio House of Pancakes

2009-01-25T00:13:00.000-05:00

Really, it is the Ohio House of Pancake Mix. OHOPM. My people were at a party with Zelda. I had a little party of my own. Enjoy the splendor of my mess.

Hair Issues

2009-01-23T13:51:00.000-05:00

I am proud of my beautiful black coat. I shimmer and shine in the sunlight.

The problems all started when I learned that my ma wanted to die her hair black. I am the only person in this house with black hair. I sprang into action and tried to sabotage her project. Unfortunately, the bottles are surprisingly sturdy and resilient. The chemicals remained in their containers; I am no longer the only black-haired person here.

Pot Pot Pie!

2009-01-22T22:58:00.003-05:00

My people ate most of my pot pie before they served it to me. Also, instead of giving it to me, as is the custom, they left it on the counter.

No News Is Not Good News For Panther

2009-01-06T18:38:00.006-05:00

Guys, it has been too long. I've been at the house with the curly dogs for nearly a month. Bad stuff happened all the time, but I was unable to blog. I'm used to my Mac laptop at home, but these people had a great shiny beast of a computer. I was afraid to touch it, and the curly dogs were useless.

____________________________

Me: Hey Leilani, can you tell me how to turn this computer on? I haven't updated my blog in a while.

Leilani: Ball?

Me: No. Blog.

(Calliopi enters)

Calliopi: No ball? You at least got a stick?

Me: Stick!? I'll stick that ball so far up...

Calliopi (interupting): I KNEW there was a ball!

___________________________

You see. Useless. I promise to eat something good for you now that I'm back at home with my lappy. We'll be in touch.

Guest Blogger: All the Bad Dogs in My Extended Dog Family

2008-12-19T14:22:00.004-05:00

I have been on a bit of a naughtiness hiatus. Been trying to clean up my act and my people have been getting much more responsible with their garbage. Fortunately for you, good reader, I had the pleasure/misfortune of spending a few days in a house with eight dogs. This was not a kennel -- this was a real house. I tried to keep to myself, remaining in my peoples' room, but the New Orleans dogs and the Oxford dogs got into a bit of trouble. Disasters occurred too frequently to capture all on film, but here is a representative mess. I only discovered it well into the cleanup stages. It used to be a box of kleenex.

The Left Me Along Again

2008-12-04T22:11:00.002-05:00

They had a grand Festivus dinner and I had a party.

Picasa Web Albums - Douglas - Things I Ate

Tiny Whiney, with the Assist

2008-11-23T02:01:00.003-05:00

The cat and I worked out a new system. He likes to knock stuff down and I like to eat stuff. He hopped up on the entertainment center and batted down the plastic silverware. I waited patiently beneath him and enjoyed the spoils of his physics experiments.

Tiny Whiney: I wouldn't eat him (only because he's so useful).
Plastic silverware: I think we both know I'd eat it.

Hamster Foodz

2008-11-23T01:55:00.002-05:00

Did you know that dogs can't digest seeds? Turns out what goes in looks the same coming out. Enjoy the view, loyal readers.
Hamster seeds: I'd eat it.

An Old Friend

2008-11-17T13:20:00.003-05:00

I revisited my old dragon toy this weekend. I had already desqueaked it and mostly defluffed it, but I still had a good munch.
I'd eat and re-eat it.

Zelda's mom is generous

2008-11-08T18:32:00.001-05:00

Zelda's mom is the Starbucks queen, and today, she made me her princess.

Cup of Nothing

2008-11-08T13:42:00.003-05:00

I love pink cup. It had no flavrs, but it was well worth it.

I'd eat it.

Kraft cheese is swell

2008-11-08T13:27:00.005-05:00

Num-nums in the department of parmesan today. Also, check out my sweet kennel. I store all my favorite things in there.

Country Time!

2008-10-19T14:19:00.003-04:00

I have had mixed success with sweet powders. Sugar was not fun. Powdered sugar was ok. Splenda was a seriously good time. I decided to try the magical lemon sugar this time. It attracted me because it has 40% less sugar than leading sodas. Also because it was the giant 5 lb size.

Turns out, it is more fun to spread around and play with than to eat. Please note my guilty footprints visible in the mess.

And because carpet is so much more fun to get dirty than till or wood, I had to extend the celebration to the living room.

I <3 Pizza

2008-10-13T17:11:00.001-04:00

I did not actually get any pizza, just the box. Empty boxes have plenty of flavor.

I love pizza box.

Not Food

2008-10-13T17:06:00.002-04:00

I can't believe they duped me into eating crayons. They left the box on a TV tray, so how was I to know it was not full of Pop-Tarts or Chipotle or something? I'd do it again, but only to make a mess. I would not eat it.

Cereal Is My New Favorite

2008-10-08T23:20:00.005-04:00

I think I might have broken my family's spirit this morning. A few days ago I ate about a thousand Pop-Tarts. That sweet breakfasty goodness got to me. I was left wanting more. Fortunately, I made a new discovery in the kitchen. Somehow, I had never noticed a whole display of breakfast cereal. It was a tough decision, but I went with the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I have to tell you, it was great. You should really try some.

How many Pop-Tarts!?!

2008-10-07T22:13:00.003-04:00

There have been no Pop-Tarts in my house for quite some time. Imagine my delight when my forage-sense picked up three boxes of the tasty pastries wander in to my house a few days ago. Imagine my further delight when, due to confusion in the grocery put-away process, all three boxes were left out on a counter.

Now, I know what you're thinking. How did I know these boxes were full of goodness? Afterall, the tarts are in sealed foil packages inside a sealed box. But, you see, I write a blog, so I can obviously read the package. How many, you might ask, tarts would I consider eating? Afterall, 3 12-packs is a LOT of tarts. You're right. I wouldn't eat all of them — brown sugar and cinnamon is a terrible flavor. That leaves 24 strawberry flavored ones.

I left one pack alone so it could go back to tell the other food of my wrath.

For those keeping track at home, that is 22 frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts — 110g fat, 814g carbohydrates, and 4400 calories.

Splenda

2008-09-25T11:39:00.004-04:00

Yeah. I ate Splenda. It is way better than sugar. Don't worry — I checked to see if I could get Splenda toxicity first. I'm fine.

I would eat it again.

Cedar Point

2008-09-24T10:40:00.002-04:00

I think it is a good think I decided to stay home while my peeps went to Cedar Point. I would have dismembered this tool before you could say "retarded outfit."

I would so eat him.

Viqueens

2008-09-08T01:34:00.002-04:00

Some lady has been sleeping over here for the past several days. I think the female person I live with is related to the lady because the female person has seemed a bit on edge lately.

Those two left for Wisconsin yesterday. Before they left, they told me that I should wear green and gold Monday night. I'm not really sure how to go about this, but I'd love to help.

I will eat a Viking.

My Sis Got Pearls

2008-09-07T08:18:00.000-04:00

How pretty my little Ginger is! Yesterday my people came back from their outing with little pink pearls for my little sister. I am jealous, but I'm afraid I'm a bit too rough for pearls. I do pretty well with my pretty purple collar.

Empty Bag

2008-09-06T18:08:00.000-04:00

The blonde one came over with Chipotle. She shared the usual token bits of food, but the real fun came from the bag. It was full of magical smells! Then someone dropped a few kibbles in there. Quite a fun game indeed. I'd eat anything from that bag.

Powdered Sugar Party

2008-09-06T12:04:00.003-04:00

I was left unattended yesterday. My mom was playing with Zelda and Zelda's mom; my dad was with the blonde one at the grocery store. I was in the powdered sugar. It was left in a sealed jar on the counter, but I am too clever for screw-top lids. I do enjoy sugar. But I can tolerate only so much (as you may remember). I learned from my mistakes and tasted only the appropriate amount.

Shedded Cheddar

2008-08-28T18:30:00.002-04:00

My people left a bag of shredded cheddar on the counter. It didn't matter to me that it was empty; there were plenty of good smells and flavors in there. I ate it.

Guest Blogger: Zelda

2008-08-27T13:32:00.008-04:00

Everyone, please give a warm welcome to guest blogger Zelda (your may remember her from a previous entry). She is a four month old Rhodesian Ridgeback. She is my neighbor and lives with a young married couple that is so cute, it makes me vomit. On to her post.

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Zelda here. I'm trying to learn the ways of the naughty dog. I am usually under such tight supervision that I can never get any real work done. I had success today, though. My mom made a pretty planter full of dirt and flowers (a perfect target for my early naughtiness experiments). Then she left me alone in the yard. Observe my success.

I definitely eated it.

Princess Cookies

2008-08-26T23:07:00.002-04:00

My lady got princess themed cookie cutters as a gift from her brother. She and the blonde one tried them out. It was beautiful. The castle even has a door. I'd definitely eat the whole spread.

Utensils!

2008-08-25T08:28:00.000-04:00

I always try not to be too predictable. For example, you might expect me to eat a wooden spoon. It has residual flavors and a nice chewing texture. But who would have guessed plastic fork? It is neither tasty nor pleasing to chew. I am obviously in this for sport rather than culinary pleasure. Someday I should just go nuts and eat a flashlight and the thickest textbook I can find. That'll really keep them guessing...

State Fair Munchies

2008-08-23T21:14:00.000-04:00

A while back, my people went to the Ohio State Fair. They got carnival food like like corn dogs and funnel cake. I didn't get to go with them, but they brought me back some tasty fair food. STUFFED MONKEY!!!

Blue's Clues

2008-08-23T15:10:00.005-04:00

Everyone loves Blue's Clues. Actually, Bun-Bun has a stupid cat brain which means she doesn't understand the TV like I do. She just loves balloon. I, on the other hand, follow many shows. Usually I get my watching in while my people are at school. I tip for everyone out there: when your remote is not where you remember leaving it, a dog was watching TV.

Back to Blue. I am constantly finding clues around the house. My people leave me clues about what they want me to eat, then I play detective to eat it. Sometimes they hide things really well, like at the back of the counter or in a sealed jar, but I always come through. They're so proud of me!

Moocho MooLatte

2008-08-02T17:22:00.000-04:00

The blonde one was over today. She had a DQ Moo Latte. Because she is careless with her trash, I also had a Moo Latte. I even tracked it all over the kitchen. Those footprints are cute, but dirty. I chuckled as I watched the humans mop up my little mess.

A New Friend

2008-08-02T17:03:00.000-04:00

The midget friend that helped to pick me out just got a new baby! Her name is Kimmie, but my people keep telling me her name is Kimberly Jo Johnson. We didn't get to play very much, but I decided I would not eat her.

In Which I Enjoy Thai

2008-08-02T12:13:00.004-04:00

The man one made thai chicken curry. He wanted to impress the lady one. She like the couscous the curry was served with, but the curry was very...interesting. I, on the other hand, thought it was delicious. Due to the interesting nature of the food, one of the leftover bowls was nearly full. Very interesting indeed!

Precision Trash Munching

2008-08-01T23:37:00.003-04:00

I got a little bit of Dairy Queen and a some tea from Panera today. As you may have guessed, I don't really like tea (this is a similar situation to my oatmeal from last time). And also like oatmeal, the mess is much more fun than the eating. I have extreme trash precision. Note the perfect thirds I divided the cup into. I'm that good.

Oatmeal Challenge

2008-08-01T21:38:00.002-04:00

Today was the Oatmeal Challenge. I got four or five packets of instant oatmeal. I enjoyed this activity very thoroughly. Actually, no it wasn't that tasty. After the bag of sugar, this mildly sweet cinnamon was not fun to eat -- but the mess was superb. Think about how not fun it was for my people to clean up. The oats hung around for days.

Sugar Challenge Fail

2008-07-22T20:29:00.004-04:00

While I have succeeded at other food related challenges, the sugar challenge was not so kind to me. After I enjoyed the Blow Pops of my previous post, I went looking for more sweetie-treaties. I accepted the first thing I encountered; the bag's tastiness beckoned me. As it turns out, five pounds of sugar is wwaaaayy too much for a dog. I did not make it very far. Then I vomited a sugary vomit. EPIC SUGAR FAIL.

Oops!...I Did It Again

2008-07-21T19:38:00.003-04:00

You may recall my very first post. That was an awfully good time for me. As luck would have it, my people have become very lax in their Blow Pop storage procedures recently. I saw an opportunity and sprang into action. Please pay attention to my careful focus (for a dog) on eating only the candy and not the wrappers or sticks.

I got into more naughtiness in this session than I could fit into one posting. Watch out for another post about the other half of my little sugar binge.

July 17, 2008

2008-07-17T00:24:00.001-04:00

I really wanted some peanut butter, but couldn't find any around the house. I talked to my man and he said that he could get me some only if I promised to post about it. I had to think about this for bit – I usually only tell you about things I forage from around house; this was new territory. But what the hell. I would do literally anything for peanut butter.

I love peanut butter. And I love you.

July 16, 2008

2008-07-16T08:58:00.002-04:00

At last some snacks! Never mind that they are gerbil treats. It was still quite tasty. Mmmmm....seeds...

July 15, 2008

2008-07-15T14:30:00.003-04:00

I have been a remarkably good girl for the last couple days. I am never a good girl on purpose, so my goodness must have something to do with how diligent my people have been in cleaning up after themselves. I decided to go searching around the internets for things I would eat. I found this picture while searching for "innocent succulent bunnies." Lo and behold, I found my friend Bun-Bun the cat fraternizing with my prey. She and I are going to have a serious conversation about where her loyalties lie.

July 11, 2008

2008-07-11T18:12:00.000-04:00

Happy belated birthday to me! I've been with these messy jokers for over a year. This is one of my very first self-portraits, taken on July 1, 2007, just a day or two after I found my forever family. I wish you could have been there; it was a fun photo shoot. Please note my crazy eyes.

July 9, 2008

2008-07-09T17:48:00.003-04:00

I got a new neighbor a few days ago.

She takes care of two people (which is impressive because she's quite young). I think we could be friends. I'll snuggle her. Then I'll eat her.

Nom nom nom.

July 8, 2008

2008-07-09T17:41:00.003-04:00

Yeah... That's my bad.

June 20, 2008

2008-06-20T09:40:00.003-04:00

Someone left some tasty food in a paper bag on my kitchen counter. Unfortunately, I was not informed of this until several hours later. Luckily, I was able to use my keen sense of starving to locate and dispatch the bag.

June 3, 2008

2008-06-03T14:54:00.001-04:00

Today, I got a pink elephant. I love my pink elephant. It squeals like prey might, if they ever let me get real prey. I would not eat my elephant, however I will love it with my razor sharp teeth.

June 2, 2008

2008-06-02T20:49:00.001-04:00

Please take note of two things. 1) I created a totally awesome mess. 2) I am about to kick that balloon's ass. There should be little doubt in your mind: I'd eat it.

May 27, 2008

2008-05-27T17:07:00.002-04:00

I'd eat it. Me gustan los infant-burritos.

May 17, 2008

2008-05-19T19:40:00.005-04:00

Today, my Hillary had a bunch of lady people over. There was much fuss over one of them who was wearing a sissy little crown. She wouldn't last five minutes at my park. The girls did some simply ridiculous things. They seemed to lack even a basic understanding of what a pooper-scooper is for and how clicker training is supposed to work.

The upside is that some one brought a cake depicting a pleasant puppy picnic. I'd eat it.

May 10, 2008

2008-05-11T11:27:00.007-04:00

If they buy it for me, I can do with it what I please, right? Ripping its head off was the best part.

Panther: 1, Dachshund shaped bunny: 0

Till we meet again.

May 6, 2008

2008-05-11T11:27:00.006-04:00

This is yet another entry in the theme of food related challenges. Except this time, the humans wouldn't let me play. Anyway, the big one and the blonde one played "Grande Challenge" in which one must eat a grande meal from Taco Bell in one hour. A grande meal, btw, is ten soft tacos. This is really my idea of a good time, but it appeared that the people involved did not enjoy it. Anyway, the big one made it through; the blonde one failed like a little girl. I'd offer to train her, but I'm not sure she has the competitive eating spirit. As always, they hid the trash from me to make sure I had a fun time finding it. And I did find it.

May 1, 2008

2008-05-11T11:18:00.001-04:00

Today was epic. I would venture to say that no other day will live up to this, ever. I hope to be proven wrong.

The one in the pink pants opened a fresh jar of peanut butter and made herself a sandwich. She left the nearly full jar on the counter just for me. I call it the Skippy Challenge. To win, you must eat an entire jar of Skippy in one sitting.

Also, Ginger looks totally miffed that she didn't get in on the action. Next time, little dog. Next time.

April 19, 2008

2008-04-27T20:29:00.002-04:00

Today, I challenged my people and their blonde friend to compete in the saltine challenge. Foolishly, they accepted my invitation. I totally owned them. I would eat six saltines again anytime.

April 18, 2008

2008-04-27T20:25:00.002-04:00

This was really fun. 'Nuff said.

3/25/08

2008-03-28T20:20:00.009-04:00

Recently, Easter arrived at my house. I enjoyed the jelly beans,
peeps, and peanut-butter filled chocolate eggs. I hope more Easter is
coming soon.

3/17/08

2008-03-28T20:20:00.008-04:00

While we were on vacation we met The Infidels. They are obnoxious; even more than me.
Verdict: I'd happily eat them both!

3/13/07

2008-03-28T20:20:00.007-04:00

Before my pets went on vacation they decided to do some
housecleaning. They put a small mammal in a ball to taunt me during
the process.
Verdict: I'd eat it.